#9 : I LOVE Shoes

 

I know, I know, what woman doesn't right? But I'm telling ya, I have a deep obsession with footwear that goes beyond your normal day to day activities. This state of mind is totally contagious too. If you spend significant amounts of time with me, you too will develop the love. I came up with a mini questionnaire that will help you determine if you are an addict. Its a public service.

1. Do you keep your shoes in their original boxes?

2. Do you organize said boxes by brand, color, season, height, or a general feeling? (I rotate these bases on my mood)

3. Have you ever bought a shoe to just look at? and never worn?

4. Do you own more than 100 pairs?

5. Have you researched a shoe storage system? 

6.  Do you own the same shoe in more than one color? how about 4 colors?

7. When you're upset, do you like to look at the shoes?

8. Do you show your shoes to people?

9. Do people who have seen you're shoes, talk about your shoes with other people?

10. Have you ever hallucinated that you bought a pair of shoes, then gone looking for them in your closet?

11. Do you fear co-habitation with someone because they might try and take half of your shoe storage?

If you answered yes to 6 or more of these questions, you are well on your way to being a full fledged addict. If you are at 2 or 3, you have plenty of time. 

Peace, Love and Shoes!

#8 : I Hate Snakes

All snakes you ask? Yes, all snakes. The reptile unit at the zoo is strictly off limits to me. Now you may be thinking... hey I don't like snakes either... what you makes you unusual? Three words. Natural History Museum. You think I went into the reptile area there? Uh, no. Does it matter that there are no living snakes there? Uh, no. Do I believe that there may be some small chance that the replicas will somehow come alive and touch me? Uh, yes. I don't trust them.

 I think it started when I was a kid.. surprise surprise. I have this memory of visiting my aunt and uncle in this town outside of Portland. The kind of town where it rains all the time and everything kinda smells like mold. I know you know what I mean if you've been there. Anyway, They had this field/yard out in the side of their house that had completely overgrown with grass. So of course... we went exploring through it and as we walked all we could see were snakes jumping to get out of our way. I stopped right there in my tracks, turned around and booked it for the house. I was not about to touch or feel or step on one of those little suckers. 

Cut to Lehi, Utah. I've never really lived in a desert and apparently there are an abundance of snakey like creatures here. So many in fact that its not unlikely that you may see one squiggle out in front of you when you are walking home from school. You may also come across a few that didn't quite make it across the road on their flight to freedom. 

Add all these encounters together and you get a deep and sound hate for snakes. (shudder) I can never be friends with you if you have a pet snake. I'm sorry. Well, I guess we can be friends if you never require me to touch, meet, pet, see, or be in the same room as said snake. That's how much I hate them. (shudder)